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Your Wedding Ceremony – Part II

October 24th, 2011

Photo Credit: Julie Williams Photography

In our last post we chatted about the Legal Requirements you need to know about to have a wedding ceremony in Alberta. Today we’re going to chat about one of the most common questions I hear from my clients ” How exactly does the wedding ceremony go?”. Well, to be honest, your wedding ceremony is really up to you & your marriage commissioner or clergy. There are literally thousands od marriage ceremony ‘scripts’, and if you are having a religious ceremony there will certainly be some additional requirements. Below is an example of a Civil marriage ceremony in Alberta:

Processional

Your processional, or “walking down the aisle’ can include family members ( parents, grandparents), your groomsmen, your bridesmaids, any little people, and of course the bride & groom. The order of this is really up to you, although the Bride tends to go last! When Shawn & I got married, we had a big long processional, because we wanted to include all of our immediate family . My Grandmother & Grandfather were seated by an usher, then our groomsmen entered, then Shawn’s Dad & his wife, followed by Shawn sister, brother in aw and our nephew,  Shawn escorted his Mom, the Bridesmaids walking in, and finally me and my parents.  You can also keep it as simple as you & your groom walking in together.

Welcome

All commissioners & clergy have a welcome that they like to do.  There is often opportunity for you to add to this, so don’t be afraid to ask!

Impediments

This is the part we chatted about back in the legal section.  You must declare that you are legally allowed to get married.  However, you don’t have to do the bit where the commissioner says ” if there is any person in this room who knows a reason why these two cannot be lawfully married, please speak now or hold your peace” Although, it can offer some comic relief!

I do’s

This is the part where you repeat after your commissioner. They will list a few promises, and you respond with ” I do”.

Vows

I’m going to tell you, my favourite part of a wedding ceremony is personal vows. There is nothing more beautiful than hearing two people pour their heart out to each other! With that said, if the thought of pouring your heart in in front of an audience gives you hives, I still encourage you to write these vows, and share them in private, or in letters. You are going to have some pretty huge emotions during this time, and when your approaching your 15 year anniversary, running back and forth between soccer practice and ballet lessons, it’ s nice to revisit these feelings. If you google ” write my own vows” there are hundreds of resources to assist you with this process.  I also suggest you have one person read both of your vows, to ensure they have a similar tone. Also, PLEASE do not leave this until the night before your wedding. Plan a date night, or some quiet time, and write.

Just because I’m feeling sappy this morning, I’m going to share mine…

. . .

Shawn, you have brought immense happiness into my life.

You have taught me the value of laughter. You have shown me how to have fun and to appreciate the small joys of everyday life.

You’ve taken the time to listen to me, understand me, be patient with me, and love me just the way I am.  Your support has given me the confidence to believe in myself, and fully trust what we have together.

You have become my best friend, and have accepted my family and friends with open arms. I feel blessed that I am able to fall asleep beside you every night and wake up to your infectious smile every morning, and now, that I will be able to introduce you as my husband.

Shawn, you have given me so many things, and today, I want to make some promises to you:

I promise to be your world tour guide, and share with you all of the amazing things I have seen.

I promise to remember how much our affection binds us, and to make a point of hugging you at least once everyday

I promise to respect you as an individual, and give you time to play ultimate Frisbee, and baseball, and jump off cliffs on skis, because those activities make you uniquely you.

I promise to remember the value of humor in good times and in bad.

I promise to always play the “ Why I love you” bedtime game

And I promise that when our marriage face challenges, I will look back to these vows to remind myself why I am so in love with you.

To me, marriage is not a state of being, but an evolving experience that requires honesty, trust, hard work, effort, and love to survive.

Shawn, I promise that today, I will be the woman you explore the world with, and tomorrow, the woman you create a family with, and in 50 years, the woman who still wants to hold your hand.

. . .

Ring Exchange

The ring exchange is pretty self explanatory.  There are lots of different phrases and words you can use for this part of the ceremony.  A few tips on this part -  before you head down the aisle place your engagement ring on your right finger, and if the ring doesn’t fit ( stress causes swelling) don’t push too hard, your still married even if the ring is only sitting on his knuckle!

Declaration

This is when your commissioner or clergy pronounces you husband and wife, and you finally get to kiss! Sign, I love this part!

Signing of the Registry

This is the part where you head over to a signing table with your two witnesses and complete the required legal documents.  The signing doesn’t have to go here, and there are some marriage commissioners that like to pronounce you husband & wife after you sign the registry. Don’t forget to choose a song for this portion of the ceremony!

Closing

All marriage commissioners and clergy have some words they like to leave you with before you depart on your married way.  If there is some text you would like to include here feel free to ask!

Introduction of Mr. & Mrs.

This is the part where you are introduced as husband and wife for the first time. Following this you generally walk back down the aisle to a poppy and jubilant song. Yay, you’re married!!

Recessional

99% of the time the bride and groom leave first, followed by the best maid & maid of honour, and the remaining bridal party. After that the parents and grandparents depart, and our guests follow after that. Keep in mind that if you stand at the back of the ceremony space, and impromtu receiving line will form. So, if you are tight for time ask your commissioner or clergy to announce that you will be departing immediately for photos , and look forward to seeing them at the reception!

Phew, that was a long one! Keep in mind this is just one outline you can you to start fleshing out your ceremony.  In part three we are going to cover different things you can add to your ceremony to make it uniquely you!

 

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