Cherry Tree Occasions

Your Wedding Ceremony – Part III

October 26th, 2011

This week we’ve been focusing on a sometimes neglected part of your wedding, the ceremony. You can learn more about legal requirements in the province of Alberta in our first post, and see a general outline for a ceremony in our second post. Today, I’d like to share some ways I’ve seen couples personalize their ceremonies. I could honestly write a years worth of blog posts on just this topic, so I’m going to have a choose a few of my favorites!

Readings

Having readings in your ceremony not only allows you to share words that speak to both of you, it also allows you to include some VIP’s that aren’t in the bridal party. You can get readings from almost anywhere – the bible, poems, excerpts from novels, children’s books, song lyrics. If you are getting married in a church it’s likely your church will have some suggested readings. Two of my favourite readings:

EXCERPT FROM THE VELVETEEN RABBIT

~ By Margery Williams ~

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

THE ART OF MARRIAGE

~ Author Wilferd A. Peterson ~

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating
gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

Ceremony within your ceremony

Ok, this is an awkward title, but I just can’t think after any other way to characterize these beautiful little ceremonies! Some of the more common ones you might have heard of include the unity candle ceremony, sand ceremony, and hand fasting. Some that I have seen/heard of recently that I adore:

The Wine Box Ceremony

This ceremony speaks to me because, well, I love wine! The gist is, you get a wooden wine box ( Sharon over at Naturally Chic make beautiful ones! Have a peek at the image below), and during your wedding ceremony you place love letters and a bottle of wine in the box. The you nail it shut. On an anniversary, or perhaps when you have your first really big marital fight you pry the box open, read the letters you wrote, and drink the wine together. My dear friends Adam & Julie Driemel added to this ceremony by including a recipe to go with the wine.

Photo Credit: Julie Williams Photography

The Ring Warming Ceremony

At the beginning of your wedding ceremony your officiant will tell your guests that he will be passing your wedding rings through the crowd. Each guest is invited to hold the rings and offer a special thought or blessing for your marriage. This ceremony works a bit better with slightly smaller weddings ( Will & Kate likely wouldn’t have been able to use this one!), but if the rings haven’t made it through the crowd in time the officiant will just ask for them back. You’ll want to get a little bowl to hold them, here’s one from Kristen & Darren’s wedding ( who introduced me to the ring warming ceremony!)

Photo Credit: Orange Girl Photographs

Recognition of your parents

Two of my clients this year took some time during their ceremony to recognize not only the support they received from their parents during their upbringing, but also the value in watching a marriage grow. I know not all of us have parents that are still together, so this isn’t a great fit for everyone, but it was a really lovely sentiment to see recognition during the ceremony to people that are really very key! The officiant shared some words from the couple, and then invited to the front of the room. I’m getting teary just thinking about it, it was SO lovely!

Ceremony Music

This is a big one. As long as your venue is o.k. with it ( some churches are pretty specific on the music you choose), feel free to use music in your ceremony that is very meaningful to you. I love a bride entering to Pachelbel’s Canon, but I also adore a bride entering to the first song her & her groom ever danced to. So what song’s do you need to select? You’ll need anywhere from 1-3 songs for the processional ( depending on how many people are part of the processional), a song for the signing, and a recessional song. The recessional is a seriously happy moment, so don’t be afraid to be upbeat! You may also decide to include hymns during our ceremony instead of readings. In the Canmore/Banff area there are SO many options when it comes to wedding musicians. You can hire a harpist, bagpiper, string ( solo, duo, trio or quartet), a classical guitarist, soloist, a flute piano duo, or ask your DJ to play recorded music. I’m also going to tell you a secret – it doesn’t matter how far ahead of the game we are, I see typically see wedding music selection getting left to the very last minute, it’s a tough one, so start a playlist now!

In our final ceremony post we’re going to chat about the decor you can add to make your ceremony gorgeous!